None of us enjoy doing the difficult things in life. Obviously we prefer the path of least resistance. I am one of those people. I would rather go out of my way to avoid difficult people and situations than plowing head on into them. Why create additional stress and pain when you don’t have to right?
Life has a way of forcing us into those difficult things at some point in our lives. I’m sure you know those people who thrive on confrontations although I honestly think those people embellish it more than it actually is.
I know there have been times that I was determined to avoid someone when I walk around the corner or the elevator doors open and there they are. Right in the space I want to occupy. No way of escape or evasion.
Difficult people and situations require us to dig down deep to pull out the best that we can be. I won’t lie. It’s awfully difficult at times. Somehow we are often led right into the Lion’s Den. Sometimes you walk right into ground zero where you are face-to-face with your enemies. No avoiding it and no getting around it. It takes courage to summon up the strength to get through those moments.
So how can you and I survive these moments in our lives?
First, never forget who you are. Don’t let someone else tell you who you are. They don’t know you. They are basing their information on what they think they know about you. People tend to take parts of the truth and then fill-in what they THINK the truth is. There was a time in my life when I had to face a difficult person more often than I liked. I always had to spend time to prepare myself mentally before being around them. I finally learned that this person’s opinion of me was just their opinion and didn’t mean they were right. I just put an invisible shield around my feelings and let them act however they wanted. Don’t allow others to tell you who you are. You know you. Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you matter.
If you are in the face of a difficult person, answer with a soft answer and never allow them to get you worked up. You are in control of you. When you lose control of yourself or the situation, you will lose control. Stay calm. When a situation is emotionally charged, it’s easy to get caught up in it. Control your breathing and take deep breaths. Raising your voice or speaking harshly in return will only add fuel to the situation.
Be willing to give something or someone a second chance. This isn’t always easy but might be something that is worth pursuing. People change sometimes. Listen and try to understand why the person is being difficult.
Difficult people and difficult situations aren’t fun but we can get through them without injury. I am not the best success story in managing these situations but I am learning. These are things in life that we can learn from and make us stronger.
There is always a time and a place for confrontations. I hate them. Sometimes you have no other option but we can stay in control of us. Know who we are and refuse to let difficult situations or people to change that.
Yes, I know this all is nice but it’s a different story when you start feeling those butterflies in your stomach and you know you are going to go through a difficult situation or face a difficult person. I don’t like that feeling either. Control yourself and be strong. Don’t let the person or situation intimidate you.