I’m Like, Nashville Scooters and Van Pooling

mondayWe were seated for lunch on Saturday and although I try to tune out talking around me, my annoyance meter detected the conversation at the table next to us as the word “like” was used repeatedly.  I don’t recall specifics but it was constantly “Yeah, and like” or “I’m like…”  Now I know there are worst words that could be repeated and profanity that would have made it worse but the constant use of the word “like” was – like – driving me crazy as if someone was running their fingernails down a chalkboard.  This isn’t the first time that I have heard the overly-incessant use of “like”.  I really don’t know where this is coming from.  Maybe it’s a throwback from the Valley Girl era or some deep dark place somewhere which also produces the words “uh” and “umm” which are – like – unwitting choices in my own conversations.   I guess actual dialogue is difficult when we aren’t texting or using emoticons.  It’s a pretty complicated task in this age of social media to actually have an intelligible conversation.

Nashville Mayor David Briley is on a mission to force electric scooter companies to clean up their act.  He was even on CNN talking about it.  I’m not a fan of Briley but I applaud his threat to ban scooters if they don’t make them safer and manageable.  Unless you have been a pedestrian or motorist in downtown Nashville, you can’t fully understand the frustration over the scooters whizzing by.  They are everywhere like pesky gnats buzzing around your head.  They litter the sidewalks when not in use and riders are not using them safely.  Scooter companies have made some attempts to address the issues but there is so much they can do.  I saw one scooter with a tag attached to remind riders of how to safely use the scooters (yeah, that will fix it), another had a free safety class and another requires riders to scan in their driver’s license to confirm they are legally old enough to ride the scooter.  The ONLY thing that will enforce the rules is to enforce the rules.  I know the police department is struggling with other things and wouldn’t have the resources to do it but maybe something can be done to have a day or two where there is a operation to crackdown on violations.

Since moving to another area, I have started taking a van pool to/from work during the week.  Over the years I have taken forms of transportation such as the bus in Tampa and the train when I first moved to Nashville.  The van pool isn’t the worst form of transportation I have taken.  I have had to adjust my work schedule to take advantage of it which gets me to work wayyy too early.  I get here about 37 minutes before the start of my work day.  When I questioned why we had to leave so early I got the explanation about how much worse traffic gets the later you leave and the window of opportunity.  Okay, I get that but it’s still stinking early.  The train was, by far, my favorite but in Nashville the train route only runs on the eastside.  Dumb.  Nashville NEEDS more trains.  Of course, I like the freedom of having my own car and spending time with my wife, but the traffic and parking rates downtown make it a bad idea.  So, I’m riding the van – for now.  On most days I tell myself that this won’t be forever.  Since riding the van, I have the opportunity of observing the driving habits of other drivers.  What amazes me is how many other drivers on the road are using their smart phones while driving.  I saw one driver using Facetime while driving.  Come on people!  Can’t we put the phones down?  No one is that good of a driver that they can safely drive and text.  Maybe they need to dive into the van pool.

I’m like going to try to avoid the scooters and take the van home this afternoon.

 

 

Hugh Jackman To Join XSQL?

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Hugh Jackman showing off his scooter skills

The new X-treme Scooter Quidditch League (XSQL) has gotten the attention of sports fans and riders of electric scooters and now some celebrities are taking notice of the new league.  Celebrity Hugh Jackman is often seen riding a scooter in New York City and was asked if the XSQL would become the next “Greatest Show on Earth”.

“I don’t know if I would go that far,” Jackman said.  “I think it will be different and appeal to the younger crowd.  I really hope the league makes it.  I can’t wait to see the first game.”

Jackman laughed when asked if he was interested in playing on the New York team.

“I’m pretty good on the scooter but not like that.  I’d like to make a few more movies,” he added.

In addition to Jackman, Ashton Kutcher has also taken notice of the new league.  There has been talk of Kutcher becoming part-owner of the Los Angeles team.

“We’re all for the support,” said Mark Rockwell, commissioner of the XSQL.  “Their support gives us some credibility and with any new league that’s something any sport needs.”

Rockwell was not aware of any celebrities who are seriously interested in playing on a team.

Nashville Boot Scooters are another team benefiting from celebrities recognizing the new league.

“We’ve had a lot of country stars who have called me about the league and wanting to support us,” said Ryan Cooper, team manager.  “We have a few that actually want to become part-owners of the team.  I am not allowed to name them but I think the Boot Scooters will have a solid backing.”

The Boot Scooters hope to name their head coach this week as XSQL teams need to fill the coaching positions by July 1st.

“It’s hard because you really don’t have a lot to choose from,” said Cooper.  “You don’t have college teams or minor leagues.”

Cooper did say that a lot of XSQL teams a looking at Major League Quidditch (MLQ) which is an amateur league played during the summer to find their coaches and fill some of their roster positions.

The XSQL has set a deadline of August 1 to fill their rosters with players.  The league will release the first regular season schedule soon as team’s get ready to put their scooters in play.

[THIS IS A FICITIONAL SPORTS STORY.  IT IS INTENDED FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY.]

 

Nashville’s Newest Team Needs A Name

XSQL_logo2Last week Nashville was awarded a franchise in the new X-treme Scooter Qudditch League (XSQL) and now the franchise is looking for a name. Nashville will be one of eight teams in this unique league which features electric scooters mixed with quidditch.  Teams will have specially designed fields.

The XSQL will be looking for fans to name the Nashville team in a name-the-team contest. The league is asking fans to vote on the following team names: Boot Scooters, Renegades, Revelers, SuperStars or Villains.

The league plans to play a 14-game schedule in October and hopes to attract some of the most talent scooter riders in the Music City. Open tryouts will be announced at a later date. Players must be advanced scooters users.

The league also hopes to name a team manager within the next two weeks.  Once a team manager has been named, the team can start scheduling tryouts and filling their rosters with chasers, keepers, beaters and seekers.  Players will ride scooters instead of using broomsticks.  Quidditch rules will be modified to accommodate the scooters.

City officials are still wondering where the Nashville franchise will play.  A source close to the commissioner said that the league is hoping to find an area downtown to install the playing field.

The other seven cities are also seeking names for their new teams.  Here is a list of what they are looking at:

  • Atlanta – Fire Ants, Avengers, Arrows, Wasps
  • Austin – Rattlers, Argonauts, Aragogs, Scorpions
  • Los Angeles – Lynx, Stars, Sunbirds, Hot Wheels
  • New York – Nighthawks, Juggernauts, Wanderers, Yorkers
  • Orlando – Wizards, Storm, Lasers, Dragons
  • St. Louis – Steamers, Stingers,  Vipers,  Sorcerers
  • San Francisco – Quakes, Seals, Fog, Muggles

Nashville hopes to tap into the recent influx of electric scooters in the past year.  The XSQL could be some positive news that scooter riders could use.

[THIS IS A FICTIONAL SPORTS STORY.  IT IS INTENDED FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.]

 

Professional Scooter League Awards Franchise to Nashville

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Scooter Riders Will Get A Chance In New League

Taking advantage of the electric scooter craze that has hit many major U.S. cities, a professional sports league has jumped into the mix as it has announced today that they have awarded one of their eight proposed franchises to Nashville, Tennessee.

The Xtreme Scooter Quidditch League (XSQL) will begin in October with eight franchises.  In addition to Nashville, the league has also announced teams in Orlando, Florida; Atlanta, Georgia; New York, New York; Austin, Texas; Los Angeles, California; San Francisco, California and St. Louis, Missouri.

“We were looking to tap into major markets but also cities that would be a good fit for the league,” said Mark Rockwell who is the league’s commissioner.   “Nashville is a rising city and seemed to be a good fit for our new league.”

The league will build outdoor arenas in each city fitted with Sport Court surface that will be ideal for electric scooters.  The game will be a variation of quidditch which is a fictional game featured in the Harry Potter movies where players are riding broomsticks.  Instead of broomsticks, players will be riding electric scooters.

“The game will be a variation of quidditch so don’t expect our players to be flying around in the air,” Rockwell added.  “We are tweaking the rules to make it more spectator-friendly.  The rules of the fictional game can be a little complicated for the average person to understand even if they are fans of Harry Potter.”

The league will conducted open tryouts in each city to attract the best scooter riders for their teams.  Players must be very comfortable with electric scooters and capable of operating their scooters with one hand when they are in possession of the ball.

City officials are skeptical about the new league.

“For one thing, I don’t know where they are planning to put this arena they are proposing,” said City Commissioner Lance Wright.  “There is no room for it in the downtown area.  Maybe they can put it out near Vanderbilt or maybe near Nissan Stadium.”

The league will own all of the teams initially but will appoint managers once all cities are onboard which should be within the next couple of weeks.

“We might need a little magic to get started in October but I think we can do it,” Rockwell said about his new league.  “We are hoping this announcement will get people excited about the league.”

[This is a fictional sports story intended for entertainment purposes only.]

 

Bird Scooters, Voting and the World Series

102518If you live in Nashville, you would swear it was a scene from the movie “The Birds” but instead of birds it is in the form of these silly looking vehicles called “bird scooters” that have invaded the city.  It is annoying and it looks silly.  People are zipping down sidewalks, bike lanes, streets and any place these vehicles can possibly fit without regard to safety, traffic laws or even common sense.  They are a nuisance.  Just another irritation to add to the peddle taverns, golf carts, party vehicles and buses that litter downtown.  The electric scooter companies have promised to ensure their users are adhering to safety standards but I can tell you that they are not.  Riders are not abiding by any safety or any kind of standards.  Just like many Nashville automobile drivers, they are doing whatever they want without regard to any rules.  They are just everywhere and anywhere.  What happened to simply walking?  Oh wait, some people can’t do that right either.  So let’s add another form of transportation to an already over-saturated downtown.

Early voting has started and it is a good thing.  Everyone should get out and vote.  Unlike the way the presidential election goes, these elections actually do go by the popular vote so every vote does indeed count.  Be sure to check the times because they can be rather puzzling.  Polling places have some odd-ball closing times as my wife and I experienced yesterday when we attempted to go vote.  We unknowingly picked the night the place closed at 4:30 p.m.   So we will try again now that we have a copy of the times.  If you go vote, be sure to take a photo ID.  This is very important.  Millions of people have voted early and if this trend continues, it will be the highest turnout in 50 years.  I’m not going to tell you who to vote for.  That’s up to you.  Just take your common sense with you.

The Boston Red Sox lead the Los Angeles Dodgers 2 games to 0 in this year’s World Series but if you aren’t in Boston or Los Angeles you probably don’t care much about it.  This year’s World Series has the lowest rating since 2014.   Unless you are either a diehard baseball fan or one of your teams is in the World Series, it is very difficult to be interested in the World Series.  I honestly haven’t been interested since the Chicago Cubs won it in 2016.  I don’t know what it is about Major League Baseball.  The season is long.  Then there’s the one-game wildcard game, five-game divisional series and seven-game league championship and World Series.  Maybe there are too many games and too many teams in the playoffs.  With football and hockey going on in October, the fall classic doesn’t fit into my personal sports viewing schedule.

I’m hopping on my scooter and getting out of here…….