It Ain’t My Fault

no faultWe backed out of our parking spot at the grocery store when a woman in a large monster truck pulled into the aisle facing us.  She motioned for us to go around her on the other side which created a hazardous situation for us and potentially head-on into other traffic.  We backed up and she furiously did the wide-swing maneuver to that the spot.

Then I saw it.

She had a smartphone in one hand while trying to drive her beast of a truck with the other.

We both pointed out to the woman that she might have better success driving if she would put the phone down.

Words were exchanged before she suggested we “something” off.

A contractor was scheduled to meet us at 5 p.m. to give us estimates on a project.  Never showed up.  Never called.  Nothing.  Then at 6:15 p.m. we get a call they were in our drive way.  We told them goodbye.  They then tried to push the blame that they “thought” they were told it was 6 p.m.

Again, not their fault.

My friends, we live in a world where you can never call out or correct anyone for anything.  Somehow they will turn it around to blame you for calling them out for their mistake.

What is wrong with people?

One word comes to mind:  Pride.

We live in a world where people are too prideful to admit their mistakes or apologize.  Even worse, some are more apt to pull out a gun and shoot you rather than taking responsibility for their actions.

It’s a sad state that we are in.

I see examples of the no-fault world every day.  Too many people act as if they are the only one in the world and they do not have to wait or be mindful that other people could be around.  I have simply walked down the main hallway in my building and have had people busting out of a side door never looking or thinking that someone might be in the main hallway then giving me the stink eye for being in their way.

The only right-of-way is THEIR way.

And don’t get me started about the traffic.  That’s the subject for another blog.

People are selfish and have no patience today.  The moment the light changes to green, vehicles behind the first car are already moving forward as if trying to push their way through or blowing their horns at the first hint of green.

And why can’t people stay off the phones when driving?  With all the laws that are passed and deaths caused by distracted drives, why can’t people simply DRIVE their vehicles?

The world doesn’t want people who obey the rules anymore.  We are a dying breed.  We hold everyone else back and when we call them out about their infraction they are ready to fight.  People what to do whatever they want to do without regard to others.

So why is it so bad?  Why are people never to blame for their actions?

The smartphone has made us dumb.  We stare at them all the time.  We are slaves to them.  We are spoiled with instant news, instant data and moving faster.  People who aren’t in our circle aren’t important.

“Move out of my way!”

“I want to get ahead of you!”

“You are insignificant!”

I dread becoming a senior citizen.  I’m already slow and I know I won’t be able to keep up with how the world is getting faster and more impatient.

So what’s the answer?  Should we still call people out for their infractions?

I think there are times you have to do it but in the same situation how do WE respond when we are called out when WE are in the wrong?  Yep, that one stings doesn’t it?  There will be times when we are the offenders and we have to make the instant decision on how to respond.

A simple “I’m sorry” goes a long way to helping the situation.

I know there are people who go around saying “life is good” and singing songs to the Lord who will poo-poo this blog as they clean their rose-colored glasses.  They obviously don’t live in the real world – or maybe they are the no-faulters themselves.

The Golden Rule has tarnished.  Not many people out there think of others.  It’s more like “I will do unto others what I want to do but they had better no do unto me.”

I don’t have six ways to deal with this subject or any easy answers.  The only thing we can do is do what we can do and respond the best we can.  It’s just a fact that we are outnumbered by a-holes out there.

Offended by this blog?  It’s not my fault.

 

 

What Is WRONG With People?

d49erparkingWhy is it that when you park in a parking lot with LOTS of parking space that someone decides to park RIGHT next to you?   And then they have to squeeze their way out of their car!

What is wrong with people?

I don’t know.  It left me thinking of other unexplainable things that people do.

  • You pushed the button for the elevator and someone comes up and pushes the SAME button.
  • People talking very loudly on their phones.  Why is it that voice levels are higher when someone is on the phone?
  • New employees who immediately want to take over.
  • People who throw their money or credit card on the register.
  • People who get way too close.
  • People who barrel out of the aisles with their shopping carts without looking.
  • You set up your chairs in the park or on the beach and someone sets up right next to you.

So what IS wrong with people?   Two things:  Selfishness and Impatience.

People want to do what they want to do when they want it.  They do not want to wait on anything or anyone.  We no longer care about the “Golden Rule” or any other rules for that matter.  Instead of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, we just try to get ours done first.  People are wrapped up in their own little worlds more than ever thanks to our smartphones.  It’s me and my friends list and if you’re not in that list then you are invisible and not worth my time.

loud_talker

Yep, that’s the world we live in now.

Honestly, I have been walking in the hallway of the building where I walk and people will run over you if you are in their way.  People refuse to move or acknowledge you are there.  It’s crazy.  You begin to think that you are invisible and, sadly, that’s how people see you if you aren’t a member of their little world.

And don’t get me started on people’s use of language.  It is very discouraging how people have a total disregard for others.  It used to be that people were more conscious of their surroundings and courteous of others.  People have no problems rattling off repeated F-bombs without regard to who is around.  In the not so distance past, men would apologize if they accidentally cursed in front of a woman.  Oh, forget that now.  The women are cussing back just as much as the men.  It’s sad really.

Don’t even think of calling someone out about their selfish actions or they will rip you a new one.  It amazes me that you can correct someone for doing wrong yet they fuss you out about it when THEY are the ones in the wrong.  So let’s add prideful to the selfish and impatience of our society now.

So what can we do about this?

Not a damn thing I’m afraid.   I blame smart phones for how bad is has become and the mentality behind it.  The attitudes have gotten worse the minute we have a communication device in our hands instead of the people in front of us.

The only thing we can do is to not let the selfish/impatience/prideful attitudes of others change us.  Sure, we are all selfish at times but not the extreme we see out there today.  The actions of others doesn’t mean we have a right to join them. I do think you still need to pick your battles and stand up for yourself when you think it is necessary.  You also have to be careful with that too because people are so angry and just ready to blow a fuse.

You will end up really disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them.  Not everyone has the same heart as you do.  The important thing is to do our part.  It might not change others but we must not allow the negativity to change us.

 

 

Why Are We So Impatient?

impatience

This weekend I took my few items to the self checkout at a local grocery store. Before I could take my receipt and remove my items, a man came up and began his checkout.  I looked back at him and shook my head in disbelief.  It never phased him at all.

I don’t know if you have noticed but we are an impatient bunch in this world.  You will see it even more evident when you drive on the roadways.  People will take chances they shouldn’t or become very frustrated out of simply being impatient.

What is wrong with us?

I feel badly for anyone who is elderly or handicapped because people will almost run over you to get past or get ahead of the slower ones.  What are we in such a hurry for?

We are impatient because we are selfish.  It’s all about us and our own circle of friends.  If you aren’t a part of that circle then you might as well be invisible.  My wife has nearly been stepped on three times in the last few days because people just don’t think or care to acknowledge that someone might be behind them in line.  Yes, I know.   A line of all things!  Why would anyone be in a line?

Many times when I am in a grocery store buying groceries I will say that people act like they are the only ones in the stores.  Watch them and you will see what I’m talking about.  (Don’t get me started on grocery stores.   That is a post for a later time.)  Sometimes I will just stand for a moment and watch the impatience totally amazed at how blatant it is.  I got on an elevator recently and pushed the button to my floor and another person fussed because I was going to stop them from getting to their floor sooner.  Yes, what?  Ten seconds maybe?  I just looked at them and said nothing.

We are impatient because we live in a day where we want things and want it now.  We don’t want to wait on anything or anyone.  Remember in the old days when we had “dial up” internet?   Yeah, we aren’t even satisfied with the high speeds we have today.  We can get instant news, fast food and even pick up our groceries at the store without even getting out of our car.

I am firmly convinced that because of our impatience that this is the reason for anger in our society.  If we don’t get what we want or we have to wait, then we get angry.  We like to say that we are tolerant of others but, in reality, we really aren’t.  We are only tolerant when it is convenient for us or doesn’t go against us.

So how can we deal with impatience?

  • Have reasonable expectations.  If it’s rush hour, leave in time and be prepared to be inconvenienced.
  • Be a good at waiting.  If you find yourself in a line or forced to wait, use that time to be constructive.  Make notes of things you need to do.  If you can look at your smartphone by all means take advantage of the waiting time.  Deleted old emails or photos.
  • Take slow, deep breaths.  This will help slow down your heart rate and allows your body to take a time-out.
  • You are in control.  You have a choice in how you react in every situation.

Above all things remember the old “Golden Rule” and treat others like you would want to be treated.  What?  Think of others?  But I don’t have time for that!  And that, my friends, is impatience.  THINK of others.  We will all have a chance to be patient or need someone else to be patient with us.

 

Absence Of Common Courtesy

courtesyIt surprises me everyday when I encounter moments when there is a lack of common courtsey.  I was always raised to think about others before myself and to treat everyone with respect.  There are times when I fail but most of the times I find myself going out of my way to be courteous to others.

This morning I walked down the hallway after I entered my office building.  Suddenly a couple of folks came busting through the door from the cafeteria without entering the BUSY hallway or looking to see if anyone was coming.  They were totally oblivious that I was there and narrowly missed checking me into the opposite wall.  Can just a second or two to look caused them too much of an inconvenience?

It happens often.  The problem is that we have a public that has become more self-centered than ever.  Don’t believe me?  Just sit somewhere and watch people.  Most will be glued to their smartphones.  Even with a group, they are tethered to the small screen than what is going on around them.

Here are some things I would like to say to folks:

WHEN IN DOUBT, WALK ON THE RIGHT SIDE – Oh my goodness the people that will break your ankles because they have no clue how to simply walk on the street.  Since we drive on the right side, it only makes sense to remember to do the same thing when you are walking.

PASS ME BUT DON’T TAILGATE ME – Yes, I’m still talking about walking.  If I’m walking too slow just pass me.  Don’t walk right up on me.

REMEMBER PERSONAL SPACE – When standing in lines people seem to have forgotten the courtesy of personal space.  Keep a distance so that I’m not feeling your breath on my neck.

DON’T PLAY CHICKEN – When walking up on people, why is it that you expect me to be the one to move out of the way?  A little cooperation please.

LET PEOPLE GET OFF THE ELEVATOR BEFORE YOU GET ON – People are in a hurry but don’t realize how they jam things up with they rush to get on the elevator while others are trying to get off.

IF THE ELEVATOR BUTTON HAS BEEN PUSHED DON’T PRESS IT AGAIN – Again, people in a hurry and apparently thinks that since THEY didn’t push the elevator button that it won’t work.  If it’s already lit, the elevator has been called.  Repeated pushing doesn’t make it appear any quicker.

DON’T BLOCK A COMMON PASSAGE TO CARRY ON A CONVERSATION – Okay, so you have an important conversation with your buddy.  How about taking it to the side so the rest of the world can walk by?

TONE DOWN ON THE COLOGNE/PERFUME – Soap and water works really well.  Focus on using that instead of dousing in aromas that will choke others.  Not everyone wants to smell the scent clouds that follow you around.

It really doesn’t take too much time to think of others and to practice common courtesy.  The problem is that our society only cares about themselves.  If I am not important to you then I am invisible.  The problem may be related to our smart phones.  Researchers have found that the ease of this generation to have or ignore online friends may make it easier to tune out people in the physical world.

The funny thing is that it really doesn’t take that much of an effort to think of others.  This doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way but just a simple act of courtesy can go a long way.