The “Real” You

Who are you?

No, who are you really? Who are you when no one else is watching? The “you” who doesn’t have to impress or please others. Are you truly being yourself or are you playing a role that others expect from you? Do you even know who you are?

God knows you.

Just that thought alone scares us because if there really is a God, He knows the good, the bad and the ugly about us. We don’t like knowing someone knows all of our skeletons and who we really are.

I often wonder about people who are different from their social media profile. They are one person on Facebook and totally different in real life. Sometimes we try to project ourselves as being something more than who we really are. We want people to like us and think that we are interesting or special in some way.

Why is that?

Did you know that God thinks we’re pretty special? In fact we are wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14). He also says that “the mountains and hills may crumble, but my love for you will never end” (Isaiah 54:10)

Unfortunately this doesn’t seem to be enough for us. Instead, we try to play a role and be the person that others want us to be. Why do we feel the need to impress others? We do it because we want others to acceptance us or we lack the confidence in that people will like us for who we really are.

You are special in your own unique way. As for me, I know that I am quite eccentric at times and do things that are totally not what people expect but I am who I am. Some times, like many others, I get pushed to the side because I don’t always say much and not the center of attention in a group setting. You just have to get to the place of accepting yourself and feel good about the person you are.

Will the real you please stand up?

What are you afraid of?

Don’t be afraid to be who you are. What does it really matter if you lose some so-called friends over it? We are all special in our own way. We shouldn’t be ashamed of who we are. If you try to be someone you are really not to please others, you will be the one who is miserable. Don’t conform to the person people THINK you should be.

God has created you for a purpose and it isn’t to be a preacher or to be a missionary in a foreign country. Some think that God’s purpose is always something related to a ministry position in a church or religious organization. That isn’t always true for everyone. Maybe God’s purpose for you is to be the best you that you can be. Your purpose could actually be you secular work. Businesses are desperately needing good, dependable employees. It is becoming increasingly true that good help is hard to find. Just be careful to not let your work define who you are either. You are not what you do. Your job occupation doesn’t describe who you are.

People also tend to judge who you are based on your family. Some folks live off of their family name but that’s not who we are. For most of my young life people assumed that I would become a preacher simply because my father and grandfather were preachers before me. I have had to remind people that being a preacher isn’t hereditary. It’s not a family business. Sure, I would know how to be a preacher but that isn’t who I am. Don’t let people – or even your own family – dictate your life based on your family name.

Who is the person you see in the mirror? We either like the person we see or we don’t. If you don’t then what is it about yourself that you don’t like? Why can’t you look at yourself and accept who you are? You have the power to change things on your own.

One of Satan’s most effective lies is to convince you how unworthy you really are. God is holy and perfect and we are not so compared to that, we can never reach it but God doesn’t want us to compare ourselves with His perfection, He wants to simply love us. We have a hard time letting go because we don’t think we are worthy of that. We feel that somehow we have to earn it.

The end of Romans 8 is a place I always end up if I doubt about God’s love. It starts with verse 38 which says “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Now that pretty much covers it.

We do not have to be bound by being the you that others will accept. IF they accept you they will accept you and if they don’t, they don’t.

Isn’t it time to be who you are?

Who Do You Think You Are?

Who+Are+You“You don’t have sense that God gave a goose!”

That was something my dad would say to me in his frustration with me when I was growing up.  I have never forgotten it.

You can imagine how it formed my self-esteem.

We grow up with the image of ourselves formed from our upbringing, our life experiences and our relationships with others.

Who are you?

There are some people I have met who are not the person they project on social media.  I have heard of some people who go to great lengths to Photoshop their profile picture.  They are obsessed with their online profile and their appearances to their “friends”.

Sometimes we put up an image to others but it’s not really who we are.  People are afraid to show who they really are in fear that people won’t like them.  We are so tied to what others think about us.  It’s a never ending struggle to meet those expectations.  One thing you should know about that is that you discover at some point that you will never do enough.

So who do you think you are?

God knows you.  He’s not afraid of the real you.  The person you are when your friends aren’t around and no one else can see you.

There was a time in my life that I wasn’t the person I am now.  I was in a prison to other people’s expectations and their opinions of me.  I did what they expected.  I worked at the church and filled the role I was expected to fill.  I found myself miserable because I wasn’t being the person that God created me to be.  I was striving to be what everyone else wanted me to be.  It was someone else’s life.  Not mine.

Sometimes we’re just too chicken to do anything about it.  We continue to put on the face that everyone else sees because we’re so darn afraid of rejection.  We want people to think good of us.  May I tell you the honest truth?  Everyone isn’t going to think good of you no matter what you do.  People won’t like you and they will talk about you behind your back.  Yep, if they talk about others when you are around you can bet they talk about you when you aren’t around.

How am I doing with your self-esteem now?  The truth hurts but the good news is that you can break out of the approval addiction.  Remember that whatever someone thinks about you doesn’t mean it’s true.  You know the real you and God knows you better than anyone.

So what exactly does God know about us?

Here’s what the Bible says:

  • “For the Lord sees not as man sees.  Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”  (1 Samuel 16:7)
  • “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
  • “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.” (Proverbs 21:2)

I think admitting that God knows who we really are scares us.  We live in denial that He knows us that well.  It really should be a comfort that He does and that regardless of the good, the bad and the ugly about us that He still loves us and he wants a relationship with us.

Don’t believe in Him?  He still knows you and loves you whether you want Him to or not.

It has taken me years to overcome a fragile self-esteem.  I believe I have more sense than God gave a goose now and I have people in my life that care about me.  Sometimes the only way you can achieve that is to make the choice that you are going to be who you are even if it disappoints people.  I will tell you that if you make that commitment and trust in the Lord that you will become the person He meant for you to be.

I will also tell you that life sucks sometimes and people are mean whether you believe in God or not.  Believing in God doesn’t make it any easier.  It won’t be a daily life of a choir singing throughout your day.  Some things only God knows about you.  In fact, He has knows the number of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7).  If He knows that much detail about you then He knows you and I pretty well.

I love the new song “God Only Knows” from King & Country and the part that says:

God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it’s killing you
But there’s a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you’ve been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows the real you
There’s a kind of love that God only knows

It’s funny how people will tell you to “be yourself” until you actually do it.  We are expected to make allowances for other people to be themselves and have their own opinions but when we try to do it, people get upset about it.  Well, you can be yourself with God.  He knows you already.  You aren’t doing anything that surprises Him.

Who do you think you are?  There’s only one you and you’re pretty special.