Where is God When I Am Sick?

Early one morning this week I had this thought when I was awakened with another coughing spell. I have been sick for a week now with what started as strep throat and is now an annoying cold with coughing and congestion. Life is quite miserable right now. In fact I can’t get through much of this blog until I need to cough or blow my nose.

I wondered why God doesn’t heal me. The immediate thought in my head was the question: have I ever asked?

Then I thought about that for a minute. I have never asked God to heal me when I have been sick with a nasty cold like this. Why not? I suppose I figured it wasn’t significant to ask God to heal. It isn’t something as serious as cancer or a heart condition. Is it really worth bothering God about?

So with several more hours left in the morning before time to get up I asked. I asked God to heal me.

As you can see, I am still sick. No better but no worse either.

I guess this is why I don’t ask because I fear the disappointment of not being healed. A lack of faith maybe? I don’t know. It was a test and nothing changed. I mean it’s just a cold right? Why test God? But wait….didn’t God challenge us to test Him? I will be honest. I’m a little confused right now. It could be due to all of the congestion.

It’s a cold right? It’s not a terminal illness. Why even ask God? The cold will eventually go away. No big deal right?

Yes, it’s just a cold but wouldn’t it have been amazing had I awakened this morning with no sign of a cold. No more coughing. No more endless sessions of blowing my nose. That would have been awesome.

I asked. He didn’t answer. So does that mean it is God will for me to be sick? How is that okay? I guess some things we just don’t get the answer too. I think about the story of Job. His world was completely destroyed for no reason. He asked God repeatedly and finally got an answer he wished he hadn’t asked for. Yeah, we are told about the “patience” of Job but read the story. He questioned God about it. He may have been patient but He didn’t suffer without asking questions.

I’m not Job. I’m Milton and I’m sitting here with a cold. I’m not the only one in the world with a cold. I’m sick but I’m not dying. God has his reasons I guess.

So where is He while I’m coughing so much at night that I can barely breathe? At least I can still breath so I’m okay. He doesn’t need to be bothered with me and this silly cold.

Where is God?

He’s here and He knows my condition. He’s the one who put the question in my head. Something I should think about and write about.

God heals. We can ask Him to heal us for any ailments even a common cold. We ask and either He does or He doesn’t. I can’t explain God to you. Sure, I could give you a list of references from the Bible but does that really mean anything when you head is filled with so much congestion that it feels it will explode? If I could explain God wouldn’t I be God? So, I have a choice to believe or not to believe. When we ask we also have to be ready for the answer. Sometimes the answer isn’t what we wanted it to be.

I have almost a lifetime of Bible training and years of pew time in the church. Healing always puzzles me. I still don’t understand how God chooses who He does and doesn’t heal.

My purpose isn’t to discourage you or me. I’m just being real. These are legitimate questions we have about God. Is it a reason not to believe in God because He doesn’t heal me when I’m sick? Absolutely not. Faith is not afraid of questions that we can’t answer. Our faith is in God – not in what He can do for me.

Do I like that answer? No, I can’t say that I do. So is that a reason for me to just stop being a believer? If it was then I have been in this relationship for the wrong reason. We get it wrong sometimes when we treat God like He’s some kind of celestial genie that we pull out when we need something. Just recite a Bible verse and end it with “in Jesus’ name” and it will be done. God doesn’t want an abracadabra relationship.

If God healed me of this current sickness then chances are there will be another one. So what then? Would He then be obligated to do it every time? No. He’s not under any obligation. He works in His ways and we are told that His ways are beyond our understanding. So like it or not we aren’t going to find a nice, easy answer. Sickness is a part of our lives. We manage it the best way we can. It’s still okay to ask God to heal us but we shouldn’t let our faith become weakened by it if He doesn’t.

Advertisements